he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
