What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
