do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
