she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
