If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
