Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
