Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I want to be your penis for a week.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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