singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
