i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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