I think i peed on brittanys purse
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
