who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize