Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
