Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
