Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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