Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
