if i can run in heels then i can drive
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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