Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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