Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
