about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
