I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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