Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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