Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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