All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
