I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
