I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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