Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
