Are we in a gay sports bar?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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