please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize