my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
