i think my tv is drunk
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
