Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
