i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
