Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
