But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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