I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
