Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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