apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
