dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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