But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
where am i from again
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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