Come see our sink grown plant.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
