That's intense
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
