Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
