Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
