): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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