A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
do nipples grow back?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
