So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
