Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize