If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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