Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
