you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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