So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
