i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize