Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
These tits shall not be calmed
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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