Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
