Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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