I wish you could order shots online.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
