i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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