he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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