My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
