I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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