Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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