Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
