lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
