i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
