3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
