So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
