I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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