i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
