I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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