we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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