talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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