Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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