He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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