If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize