you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm jealous of your bromance
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
