he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
