i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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