i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
