It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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