if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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