I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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