Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
