There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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