I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
